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| By Adam Jones Adam63 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
Every conversation needs to start somehow, but how can we do it in the most effective, simple, and natural way possible?
For some people it is effortless and they just seem to be able to spark a conversation with anyone, upon any occasion, and in any circumstances - if you are one of these people, then you might like to stop at this point and go off and read something else instead. But for the vast majority of us, however, whether at networking events, socially, or during various business occasions, it can be fraught with awkwardness and lead into a minefield of unintended offence or misunderstanding.
Variety is the spice of life, but being able to judge both the occasion and the audience is often the best approach to starting a conversation. Many articles and blog posts are written providing a whole repertoire of useful 'ice breakers' and conversation starters ("10 Ice Breakers" or "20 Conversation Starters"), but you still need to exercise some judgement in terms of delivering them to the right person, at the right time, and in the right place and you also need to remember which to use and when.
The most common conversation starter, by far, is the old favourite: What do you do? In the vast majority of cases this is perfectly acceptable and a natural conversation can be started from this simple question. But, what if the person doesn't like what they do? What if they are embarrassed by what they do? What if they'd rather you hadn't asked that, because now they have to explain it to you and they're not good at doing that? What if they are a home maker and they are worried that you will lose interest, because you'll think that they don't do anything? This seemingly simple question can lead to unease or get the conversation off to a wrong start from the very beginning and close off the chance of a dialogue even developing.
As the title of this post suggests, however, there is one small thing that you can do today to help start a conversation, which is less likely to cause offence, unease or discomfort. And that is to ask someone: Where are you from? Everyone is from somewhere and this is such a broad open conversation starter that they could tell you about their home town, or their company, or where they used to live and where they live now. How they love it here and they may even reciprocate and straight away come back by asking: And where are you from?
So if you want to change one small thing today and start to see a difference in how you spark a conversation in any situation, then start asking people where they are from, rather than what they do, and you may be amazed by the results. It doesn't entirely absolve you from exercising some judgement in how or when to use it, but I find it works more often than not and it's far easier than trying to remember when to use one of those twenty ice breakers you read about.
So, let's get this conversation started ... where are you from?
Will Trevor is the Founder and Training Consultant at Windsor Training. Please click 'Follow' if you would like to hear more from Will in the future. Feel free to also connect via his Linkedin page, or via Twitter and Facebook or email: will.trevor@windsortraining.net
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monesBy Adam Jones Adam63 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons Adam63 (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
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