The use of mentoring has exploded in corporate life and within a variety of organizations, both big and small. Whether you are being mentored for the first time, or if you have just accepted the role of mentor. I want to give you 5 things that I have learnt from being a mentor over the past few years:
#1: Be a Critical Friend
By ‘critical’ here I do not mean offering negative criticism, instead you need to be aware that you are offering positive comments and guidance. You are not overtly critical, nor are you just there to be their friend and tell them what they want to hear. It may mean that you sometimes tell them something that is difficult for them to take – see the ‘wake up’ call later on – but you are failing in your duties as a mentor, if all you do is tell them how well they are doing, if it isn't true.#2: A Sounding Board
When teaching or training, I always tell my students, “there are no stupid questions, only the ones that go unasked.” A mentor needs to be someone who the mentee feels comfortable running their ideas and questions past, no matter how outlandish they may seem. It is not the role of the mentor to validate or reject those ideas, instead you need to offer probing and guiding questions that will help the mentee to clarify them in their mind and then come to their own conclusions as to their validity.#3: The Voice of Experience
It helps if the mentor has already trodden the path that the mentee is following, not just once but multiple times. However, whilst being the voice of experience, that should not blind you to the fact that the mentee may actually come with a fresh pair of eyes and see something in a new and innovative way. Just because you are looking through the eyes of experience, this should never blind you to the different perspective of your mentee.#4: The 'Wake Up' Call
Sometimes our motivation fails us. Life takes over and the things that we planned to do get done are submerged by work and family commitments. A mentor does not provide the motivation, this can only come from the mentee themselves, although it is useful for them to know that there is someone out there who is following what they are doing with interest.
However, there comes a point when they may not be progressing or they have come to a full stop. As a mentor you then provide the wake up call – take them back to the reasons why they started the project, or whatever it is they are embarked upon, and ask them whether they are still valid and if they are going to complete on the original basis. Perhaps the original objectives need to be changed, but a good mentor helps the mentee to refocus on what is important and encourages them to get their mojo back.
#5: Guide DO NOT Lead
You are not there to say, ‘this is the path to take’, instead you say, ‘these are some of your alternatives’. Some mentors assume the role of leader, by providing too much of the motivation, where they think it is lacking, or by telling the mentee what it is they need to be doing and how they need to do it. If it all goes wrong, then the mentee will rightly blame you and the relationship will sour. This approach also develops a relationship of dependence, rather than encouraging the spirit of independence that sees real growth on the part of the mentee. For mentors that come to the role with a great deal of experience it can be hard, but it is often better to lead from behind and take a step back by being the sounding board and critical friend along the journey.
These are just five of my own personal reflections on being a mentor, you may have others, but I hope that you derive some benefit from them. Have you been mentored, what did you learn from the process? Have you been a mentor, what would you offer other would-be mentors as good advice?
Will Trevor is the Founder and Training Consultant at Windsor Training. Please click 'Follow' if you would like to hear more from Will in the future. Feel free to also connect via his Linkedin page, or via Twitter and Facebook or email: will.trevor@windsortraining.net
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Picture Credits: (1) https://flic.kr/p/9hHHbJ (Contemplation - Art Critic, Pompidou Centre Modern Art Gallery, Paris, France by Steve Greaves; (2)https://flic.kr/p/h2Spbi The Dangling Conversation by Trev (3) https://flic.kr/p/9nPph1Mr. Patel's Father. Gwarko, Nepalby Zak Zavada (4) https://flic.kr/p/7pTNfD wake up by Emmanuel; (5) https://flic.kr/p/9hHHbJ Susanna by Niall Kennedy
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